Mr Here He Was, Where's He Gone.

Where? I'll tell you where. He's gone over here.

One More Time.

I nicked this from some other gullible fool's blog. Ha! And ho!

Well, shit. Looks like it's time for me to be moving the smeg on. Tomorrow I leave for New Zealand, not to return for an undisclosed number of months, which means that dear old I Hate It Here serves no further purpose. I started this blog as a means to stop me from losing my mind while I was trapped here in Stourbridge, a function it has performed admirably. One brain, intact. Job done. And it seems to me that this last installment should be given over to appreciating the people, things and institutions that have also helped fend off screaming collapse. So:

Mum and Dad, for letting me move back home when they were probably sure they'd got shot of me. Best. Parenting. Ever.

Glyn, for being an all round top quality little brother. And he can gut a fish like nobody's business.

Stella, for being the iron fist in Glyn's velvet glove.

Denyer, long-time bestest buddy, web-wizard and big noise in the rarefied world of transformers fandom. In a crazy and changeable universe you are a valued and necessary constant.

The Aberystwyth massive. Scattered to the four winds we may be, but I don't think 'family' is too strong a word to describe what we've got. I'll will return. Promise.

Little Dan, for being the best goldfish a boy could have. Ditto the snails.

Robert Green, Ad Connop et al, for the drinks.

The fine people at Stourbridge Housing Office, for the job.

Crystal Leisure Centre, Stourbridge, for use of the facilities.

Bill Hicks (for the laughs), Atmosphere (for the beats and rhymes) and Chuck Palahniuk (for the words). Because, no matter how bad I feel, they always cheer me up.

Warren Ellis, for writing Transmetropolitan and thus inspiring this blog's title. And for writing Nextwave, which is also fucking ace. Seriously, you should buy it.

All those who suggested ideas for and voted in the penis competition. I needed humouring and you humoured me but good. Thanks. Am-Heh, Devourer of millions? I have to say I never saw that one coming. Hey! I punned! Arf!

And to everyone who read the words that farted out of my brain-anus and splattered on to the internet. I'm sure you had better things to getting on with.

So that's it. Finito. End of. There'll be a new, more cheerful blog detailing my wacky misadventures on the other side of the planet. Think of it as an extending showing of someone's holiday snaps, except possibly more boring. Now....

Bugger off!