Sunday: an official deity-sanctioned day of rest. It's written into the Bible that nobody is doing shit on a Sunday. How generous is that? A whole day off. Lovely. Maybe I'll wash the car.
But let's not forget the small print because if you're following the rule to the letter you won't be picking up anything bigger than an olive - that is verboten. Anything bigger than that counts as work and The Lord will be really shitty with you for working on his specially allotted day off. So no going to the pub - that pint of Guinness is far too heavy for that - no watching TV - ditto the remote control - and no food, unless you're eating olives. One at a time. Fair enough, you can lie in bed all day but what's the point if you can't even make a fucking cuppa? It's fairly typical of religion to give with one hand whilst flicking your balls with the other but as conditions go that one is a right cocksuck.
I'm having a lovely Sunday, as it happens. I picked up a whole egg earlier. God will just have to bill me for it.
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