OK; If you're looking for a movie that'll make you piss yourself laughing for all the wrong reasons then look no further, my son, for you have struck unintentional comedy gold. Chuck Norris, tired internet meme that he is, plays a fucking blinder in this one. You want chest hair? Inept ninjas? Whispered internal monologues?
Then you're in the right place. Chuck is on the trail of a international cadre of terrorist ninjas, or possibly ninja terrorists, and I'm probably not spoiling the movie for anyone by revealing that their leader is Chuck's old training partner gone bad. Really Chuck shouldn't have too much problem since this lot look like they couldn't ninge their way out of the proverbial wet paper bag.
'Hello, is that Crap Henchmen Ltd? Could you send over some more black-pyjama clad palsy victims? Oh, I dunno... 25? Yes, I'm afraid so. No. No, it was a girl with a sharp stick. No, Chuck's not even here yet. Ok. Bye.'
The general crapness displayed by the terror-ninjas is presumably why Chuck can afford to spend so much time whispering to himself inside his own head and indulging in playful banter with his lovable yet ultimately expendable pal AJ. AJ is just trying to live up to Norris' mighty legacy until he goes and gets his throat cut (but not before escaping from his captors something like twenty times. Crap ninjas!) thus providing further impetus for Chuck 's climactic organ crushing death rampage. But as AJ says: 'Come on, Scott; you saw much worse things during the war.'
The special edition comes with a free copy of another, better, movie.
Yeah Chuck. Remember that time in 'Nam when the Viet Cong made you eat your own bollock? That was way worse than this.
4/5
1 comment:
Why not check out Chucks finest film, Sidekicks, in which he attempts the near impossible task of playing himself. In the imagination of a child. Sadly overlooked by the Academy.
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