You're fooling nobody but your bloody selves.I might be straying into controversial territory here but I've got to say this lest I burst like a blood and pus filled balloon. You know those people you see trundling around on those plastic mobility scooters, taking up the whole pavement and blocking the aisles in supermarkets? Well I reckon that about 80% of them are putting it on. They're fakers. They just can't be arsed to walk.
If you're in a wheelchair and you're wheeling yourself about, using the only limbs available to you to mobilise yourself, then fair enough. Good on you, in fact. Equally, if you're paralysed from the neck down and have to use your chin to press the go button then you get a pass (how generous of me!) But whenever I see some fat bastard tooling about on one of those things I have a sudden urge to push them into oncoming traffic. 'Oh, but I'm too heavy to walk and I get so tiiiired', they might say, to which I would reply: well, you ain't gonna lose any weight rolling around on that thing, are you? Eh? EH?
In Las Vegas they rent mobility scooters out to the deserving, the only problem being that fat idle fuckers keep bagging them all so they don't have to heave their bloated, doughnut-stuffed carcasses between casinos. Shameful. But here's my solution: a little device of my own invention called the bee-zooka. It's a gun that fires laser guided, exploding bees. One blast from that baby and we'll see who can walk and who can't.
If you're in a wheelchair and you're wheeling yourself about, using the only limbs available to you to mobilise yourself, then fair enough. Good on you, in fact. Equally, if you're paralysed from the neck down and have to use your chin to press the go button then you get a pass (how generous of me!) But whenever I see some fat bastard tooling about on one of those things I have a sudden urge to push them into oncoming traffic. 'Oh, but I'm too heavy to walk and I get so tiiiired', they might say, to which I would reply: well, you ain't gonna lose any weight rolling around on that thing, are you? Eh? EH?
In Las Vegas they rent mobility scooters out to the deserving, the only problem being that fat idle fuckers keep bagging them all so they don't have to heave their bloated, doughnut-stuffed carcasses between casinos. Shameful. But here's my solution: a little device of my own invention called the bee-zooka. It's a gun that fires laser guided, exploding bees. One blast from that baby and we'll see who can walk and who can't.
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