Bonzo is saddened by your continued antipathy toward my penis and its lack of a name. Look at him. Just you look at him. You did this. His misery is on your head, you unspeakable cunt. 1: Clive. Suggested by: Stella.
As far as I can tell, Stella came up with this one off the top of her head. The big drawback from my point of view is that I have an uncle Clive and I believe that in some cultures naming your wang after a relative can get you stoned to death. Calling my penis Clive would make it difficult for me to look either of them in the eye again. Sir Clive, on the other hand... now that's a different matter.
2. Mr In-My-Pants. Suggested by: Kim's flatmate.
Now this one I quite like. Kim's flatmate (I don't know your name, but thanks for taking the time) has come up with a cheeky little number that doubles as a pun on Mr Splashy Pants, the Greenpeace whale. Actually, Mr Splashy Pants wouldn't be a bad name itself, if only it wasn't taken. Eerily accurate, too. But Mr In-My-Pants has a nice Red Indian ring to it that I find appealing... like 'Gets-Caught-In-Gussett' or 'Pokes-Woman-In-Small-Of-Back-As-Sun-Rises'. Although, as to that last one, chance would be a fine bloody thing.
All I'll say is this: there's a little girl out there who loves Bonzo very much and if I don't see some co-operation very soon he'll be going back to her in a fucking jam jar. I'll even include my email address so you don't have to dick about with the comments thing:
blackcountrybloke@hotmail.com
You dig?
9 comments:
how about....
"My BFG"
(a term which means both Big Fucking Gun and Big Friendly Giant must have some traction, as they say, surely?)
or maybe "Golden Gash Bell" from Zatch Bell!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zatch_Bell!
Why? Because its your "bell", it finds its home in "gashes", at a moment of supreme satisfaction you might think of it as "golden"
Plus you might get lucky with some hot Japanese girl or anime-loving lady and she'll be well impressed when she discovers what you call your john thomas.
"Oh Pete, please plough my gash again with your golden bell while I watch this episode of Escaflowne with my hair tied up like that schoolgirl with a middle aged lady's voice from Sailor Moon."
Think of the possibilities.
The only real drawback is what Gash Bell (or Zatch Bell as he later became known in the English version) actually looks like in the original anime:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zatch_Bell_and_Kiyo_Takamine
and who he is:
"He is the mamodo [demon] of the red spell book, and his powers are based on the manipulation and use of electricity, primarily lightning. He is six years old. "
Back to the drawing board, I fear.
now this is more like it. anthony has suggested 'darwin' and 'curious george'. not to sure about them but hey, it ain't up to me.
'Pokes-Woman-In-Small-Of-Back-As-Sun-Rises' is probably your best bet. Can also be abbreviated (in casual company or if you need to discuss your knob with elderly relatives) to Mr Pokey.
BTW, your blog is now content-screened by Google...
man, look at all these comments! my penis and i are swelling with pride even as i type. kathryn has also suggested denwen, which is a name of a fiery egyptian serpent god, and also am-heh, god of the underworld whose name means 'devourer of millions' as the lady herself put it:
'your penis would therefore a ferocious being only defeatable by atum-ra, the sun god.'
as you can imagine, i like these very much. voting starts on sunday night.
love ya!
I personally believe that in these days of high-minded ethical consumerism, it would be most wise if you were to incorporate a truly progressive slant into the nomenclature of said member. With this notion firmly beavered into this cock-soup of ideas, your own appendage would then surely rise up, far above the rest. Thus I present: The Vadgetarian.
J x
Ladies and gentlemen... we have a winner...
not so fast, anonymous. voting begins tonight. exciting!
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