Video Game Review: Black, PS2

Black is a video game where the player adopts the guise of Mimsy Fandango, ass-kicking transsexual hairdresser and professional counter terrorist, in a tale that bears many similarities to popular children's classic The Neverending Story, except without all the sex.

Taste my salty man juices, terrorist bitches.

The plot, however, is irrelevant. What is relevant, and is in fact the whole selling point of the game, is the Freudian connection between guns and your cock. It is gun porn; nine hours of running around disused foundries spunking bullets into the gaping mouths of pliant Russian terrorists, who presumably all look like Anna Kournikova under those fruity balaclavas they seem to favour. This game brings the fetishisation of weaponry to a pumping, spurting climax, and very enjoyable it is too. You play, you become aroused, musty things happen in your pants and then thirty seconds after the game is completed you fall asleep. Job done.

4/5